Budget experts project a slightly less bleak fiscal future for the US…we’ll bleed to our financial death for years instead of months.
Confidence among US consumers rose in January to the highest level since September ’08…coincidentally the delusion index rose too.
US retail sales should rise 2.5% this year…probably from packing supplies needed to ship stuff people have sold to afford food.
Texting by drivers of commercial trucks and buses is now banned…and so is breathing so expect your driver to pass out.
Home prices and consumer confidence climbed further…with the help of a walker, oxygen tanks, and home health aides.
The Republican primary race for a Senate seat in Florida leads the country in fundraising…and they say seniors live on fixed incomes.
GM has agreed to sell Saab to Dutch sports-car maker Spyker…coming soon to a showroom near you a turbo egg.
AIG and the NY Fed are under fire for keeping bailout info close to the vest…any closer and they’d have to cut open a chest to get it.
Verizon plans to cut about 13,000 jobs…there’s one thing you don’t want to hear.
EBay says it will stop charging upfront fees for some people who sell low-priced items…presumably a book about how to sell stuff on Craigslist.
The pope is asking priests to become more media savvy by preaching to the faithful from the Internet…coming soon cyber-padre dot com.
Tiger Wood’s wife has reportedly called off divorce proceedings…sounds like the old “devil you know” philosophy.
Beginning this fall The Martha Stewart Show will air on The Hallmark Channel…so I presume they’ll be a lot of crafty card making episodes.
Reports claim Brad Pitt has secretly purchased a bachelor pad to help him sort out his split from Angelina Jolie…so look for Oceans 25.
Doctors say a low-carbohydrate diet like Atkins is better at cutting blood pressure than weight-loss pills…tastier too…pass the steak.
Two economists claim college-educated women are more likely to stay married…must be all those school loans.
Exotic wooden toilet seats and harsh chemical cleaners may be behind a new resurgence of toilet seat dermatitis…learn to hover…like women.