Thoughts from a Mental Ward

GREASED FRENCH LIGHTNING
May 15th, 2012
by Aaron David Ward

Lightning struck the new French President’s plane…even Mother Nature doesn’t like the French.

The FBI is investigating JP Morgan Chase…they’d have an easier time investigating Las Vegas.

Facebook says it is “enhancing transparency” in their data use policy…probably the transparency they provide their corporate partners not users.

A gay prosecutor has been denied a judgeship in Virginia…they must have a strict no rainbow-colored robe policy.

A Miami-Dade fire captain has been demoted after ranting about the Trayvon Martin case…the Constitution is almost completed burned now.

The federal government has announced a new strategy to fight Alzheimer’s…it will continue to deny FOIL requests in hopes citizens develop the disease.

Americans are spending slightly more now that gas prices have fallen…mostly on booze trying to forget how bad gas prices still are.

A CFO has lost his job over Facebook and Twitter postings…it’s called the world wide web for a reason…a lot of people are snared in it.

Lady Gaga has been refused a permit to perform in Indonesia…not even Oprah can fix this one.

A new report claims consumption of the Earth’s resources is unsustainable…much like worrying about sustainability.

Marijuana may relieve multiple sclerosis symptoms…so expect a new crop of “MS patients” to start buying pot.

European stocks sunk…faster than the hearts of the French when boatloads of Americans visit Paris.

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