Thoughts from a Mental Ward

TOP TEN SIGNS IT’S DECEMBER IN UPSTATE NEW YORK
December 20th, 2011
by Aaron David Ward

Top Ten Signs It’s December In Upstate New York

(10) Firewood supplies are shrinking along with good cheer.

(9) Car doors are squeaking along with the joints of non-senior citizens.

(8) Warming up your car involves also smelling your neighbor’s car burning oil.

(7) Your heating bill looks like a chart of a bull stock market.

(6) Even mall security can’t be bothered to get out of their SUVs.

(5) Packs of teens are still smoking.

(4) People wear gloves to make sure their wedding bands don’t fall off.

(3) There are fewer bottles of real maple syrup on the shelves.

(2) A trip to a shopping mall involves taking snacks.

(1) DVRs are no longer full of shows as people stay inside to watch TV in real time.

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