NATO has warned Libyan rebels against attacking Libyan civilians…but apparently forgot to tell the US to avoid the same thing.
The US Defense Secretary has ruled out the use of US ground forces in Libya…which can only mean one thing…the US will use ground forces in Libya.
The House Speaker may compromise with Democrats on government spending cuts…the GOP will supply the smoke while the Dems adjust the mirrors.
Medicare will cover prostate cancer immunotherapy…the US government cares about your dick even while they screw you in the ass.
Leonard Nimoy will voice the character Sentinel Prime in the next Transformers flick…now if they could only get William Shatner to sing Mr. Tambourine Man for the soundtrack.
Microsoft has filed an antitrust complaint against Google…one bully is kicking sand in the face of another bully!
Ireland’s banks need $24 billion more in additional capital…ironically the only thing left in Ireland with any real value will eventually be potatos.
Britney Spears says she’d love to tour with Usher…makes sense…two Michael Jackson wannabes together at the same time…thus violating the laws of entertainment physics.
Director James Cameron is urging the film industry to use faster frame rates…I thought the porn industry was already doing this!
Arnold Schwarzenegger will play ‘The Governator’ in a new autobiographical cartoon series…which was also known as his political career.
John Travolta will play John Gotti in a new movie…no need to do anything to prepare except eat more donuts.
A half a million people die in the US yearly from smoking…leaving so few cool people.
Cutting canned foods from your diet reduces your exposure to BPA…but increases your exposure to something few Americans experience…real food.