Thoughts from a Mental Ward

WILD NUTS
May 27th, 2009
by Aaron David Ward

US health officials are working as fast as they can to understand swine flu which is like a parent trying to understand a tiny tot in the terrible twos: overwhelming, frightening, and maddening.

British travelers are set to return to Mexico in greater numbers despite swine flu; apparently the potential of contracting swine flu in a sunny climate beats the chances of getting mad cow disease on a sheep farm in dismal weather on the Isle.

One of the nation’s largest health insurers has issued a report outlining ways the federal government could shed $540 billion in future medical costs over 10 years but I bet the most obvious was overlooked: ending government intervention in health care.

A Singapore man has been temporarily denied entry into the US because a cancer drug he was taking had made his fingerprints disappear. This guy must be a ninja, albeit a sick one, but still a ninja! Watch out! They’re shifty!

A new study finds teens and young adults who are obese or have type 2 diabetes show early warning signs of heart disease like cheddar cheese lodged in the left ventricle.

A growing number of hospital patients are routinely given drugs to prevent acid reflux but a new study finds this creates a higher risk of pneumonia so if you’re in the hospital avoid the spaghetti sauce and suck down gallons of Jello.

Researchers have found retail medical clinics designed to reach under served populations tend to be in relatively affluent communities. Even in health care, the trickle down theory applies.

Arizona residents may be asked again to decide whether to amend the state Constitution to include new rights to obtain private health care; only in country where liberty is under constant assault would this be necessary.

The American Cancer Society has determined 650,400 US cancer deaths were avoided from the early 1990s through 2005 which is one of the best ways to piss off the Grim Reaper short of coming back from the dead.

A food company is recalling pistachios sold in Los Angeles under the label Wild Rose because they could be contaminated with salmonella so avoid the “Wild Nuts.”

Leave a Reply