More violence has broken out in Libya…where I wish I could open a kiosk selling Band-Aids, gauze, and antibiotics.
Under orders from the President, the federal government will no longer defend the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act…but the real problem is the administration won’t defend the constitutionality of the Constitution.
Iran’s Russian-built nuclear plant in Bushehr has yet to be up and running…some Iranians must be depositing fat checks from the CIA.
Charlie Sheen says he is not an anti-semite…a big mouth, meglomanical Hollywood douchebag….but not an anti-semite.
Egypt’s ruling military council has apologized after military police beat protesters…who knew they made greeting cards for these occassions.
China is detaining human rights activitists after an online campaign called for pro-democracy demonstrations…in a new online game called Upsetville.
Security forces in the Tunisian capital have fired tear gas to try to disperse hundreds of demonstrators…when all they would need to do is offer crowds free food.
The British government is telling its citizens to eat less red meat…but they don’t have the balls to tell the English to drink less beer…yet.
Passengers at Denver International Airport may have been exposed to measles…forget TSA X-ray porno scanners and groping, the biggest threat to passengers could’ve been prevented by handing out surgical masks.
Sacramento is awaiting the opening of weGrow known as the “Wal-Mart of weed”…the parking lot must have to be as big as the one at a Wal-Mart Super Center to accommodate Californians.