Thoughts from a Mental Ward

“FREE” HAIR HIGHLIGHTS FOR TAXPAYERS
February 14th, 2011
by Aaron David Ward

Highlights of the President’s budget have been released…including a new program: “free” highlights in taxpayers’ hair.

Egypt’s revolution has sparked a pro-democracy protest in Iran…but it’s hard to read the signs under the burqas.

Esperanza Spalding has won the Best New Artist Grammy…while Justin Bieber took home the Grammy for Best New Haircut.

Rumors of a smaller and cheaper iPhone are circulating…faster than the actual service for the current iPhone.

An ex-US Department of Agriculture employee who lost her job after a video surfaced on a conservative website is suing its owner…Americans don’t shoot messengers, they sue them.

Eating a diet rich in fiber may reduce your risk of dying by 22%…but increase your risk of dying on the toilet by 44%.

Ecuador has ordered Chevron to pay more than $8 billion in damages over an oil spill…instead of paying at the pump we might as well send checks to Ecuador.

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