Thoughts from a Mental Ward

A MIGHTY WIND
April 22nd, 2009
by Aaron David Ward

President Barack Obama recently toured a wind turbine factory so workers could figure out how to capture the gail force winds coming from his mouth.

Miss California, Carrie Prejean, told the Today show she didn’t win the Miss USA pageant because of her views on gay marriage but we all know its because she didn’t talk about world peace.

Top Obama administration officials claim a major House energy and global warming bill will help promote economic recovery and reduce consumption of foreign oil by making it more expensive for average Americans to buy energy at low prices. We’ll soon be poorer and in the dark.

The Supreme Court appears divided over whether a Connecticut city’s decision to scrap a promotion exam for firefighters because too few minorities passed violates the civil rights of top-scoring white applicants. Clearly they’ve forgotten when it comes to fire the only color that matters is the blue of the water putting out the red glow of the flames but who delivers the dousing doesn’t matter.

The Department of Transportation plants to reject a proposal by the Federal Aviation Administration that would keep data about where and when birds strike airplanes a secret. How much of a secret can it really be? Just follow the feathers.

Tribal officials say residents of the Spirit Lake reservation have overwhelmingly approved the University of North Dakota’s Fighting Sioux nickname and Indian head logo. My, how times have changed, when a major universty’s choice of a nickname and logo based on native American folklore would have been so anti-PC. Now, it’s cool if not hackneyed.

New Jersey Govenor Jon Corzine, who is up for re-election this year, hit a new low in the Quinnipiac University Poll released today. His disapproval rating jumped to 54%, up from 50% in March. But hey, he’s still doing better than any federal lawmaker.

New York State’s budget director is leaving her position to lead an Albany, NY-based lobby representing private colleges in the state. Gee, I wonder if any private colleges will get additional state aid in the coming months?

President Barack Obama will face strong opposition from many fellow Democrats if he asks Congress to approve two free-trade agreements that his predecessor George W. Bush negotiated with Panama and Colombia but as soon as Obama gets his custom made cape and boots from Panama and Columbia, Congress will give the deal an OK.

Former President Bill Clinton is wading into Virginia’s Democratic primary for governor on behalf of his friend and long time political ally Terry McAuliffe and because Clinton loves Virginia hams.

A little known Pentagon agency that trained US troops to resist torture promoted the use of some of the same interrogation techniques on al-Qaeda because it takes a torturer to know a tortuerer and to teach a torturer.

A legislative hearing to extend gay marriage to another New England state – Maine – created traffic jams Wednesday as thousands of residents formed a giant pink triangle.

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