Thoughts from a Mental Ward

ASS REPLACES ASS
September 22nd, 2010
by Aaron David Ward

The GOP is promising to call for a federal spending freeze…it’s like the 1994 GOP “Revolution” all over again…get out your glow sticks, take some “E”, and prepare to get screwed…again.

Jennifer Lopez has joined American Idol as a judge…the show had to add some ass after ejecting that ass Simon.

The new Bob Woodward book portrays President Obama as hard-nosed and demanding…in another words “Bush III” but better looking and well-spoken.

Anti-Japan protesters have been marching in Hong Kong…this smells like the CIA…or NSA…or DoD…or any number of US alphabet agencies.

An Iowa chicken farmer apologized to victims of the salmonella outbreak…but still owes an apology to the chickens.

The Cook County Illinois Sheriff who sued Craigslist is running for Mayor of Chicago…good luck keeping any campaign postings on Craigslist.

When the new federal healthcare law takes effect, big health insurance providers plan to ditch child-only policies…thus leaving kids without coverage…but remember your government cares…not.

A Florida appeals court struck down a state law barring gays from adoption…inducing heart attacks among seniors along the Gold Coast.

Stephen Colbert of the Colbert Report plans to appear before a Judiciary Committee Subcommittee…as the saying goes politics is show business for ugly people.

Dozens of NYC taxi drivers have been arrested for overcharging…but go free for leaving their cabs smelling like garbage trucks.

Mel Gibson reportedly dropped to his knees the morning after the nuclear January 6 meltdown and begged Oksana Grigorieva for forgiveness…or was practicing for his next movie role…the Desperate.

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