Scientists are baffled by rapidly melting ice in Greenland…and so are most Americans who forget Greenland has ice.

Kristen Stewart is cheating on Robert Pattinson…I would worry…if I knew who these two people were.

A top Iranian cleric insists sanctions will not stop Iran’s nuclear work…on the first transparent burqa.

The government says the worst drought in nearly half a century will drive up food prices…thank God water is still free…for now.

The Senate OK’d extending Bush-era tax cuts…he’s been out of office four years but gets referenced more times than Glenn Beck mentions Hitler.

The Senate Intelligence Committee approved legislation designed to clamp down on national security leaks…available online…everywhere.

Lady Gaga is being sued for $10 million…now she really is the next Michael Jackson.

Organizers at the London Olympics mistakenly displayed the South Korean flag before a women’s soccer game between North Korea and Columbia…luckily only 3 people care.

A new report claims Penn State concealed the sex abuse scandal…apparently not too well.

The President’s and Mitt Romney’s campaign are trading barbs over Romney’s role at Bain Capital more than a decade ago…next debate…whether the earth is round.

Passwords were leaked from Yahoo and other web services on Thursday…people still use Yahoo?

Republicans blocked a small-business tax break…this from the party of “limited” government…more like the government of the endless crony capitalist party.

Moody’s downgrades Italy’s debt rating 2 notches…from meatballs to really small meatballs.

Digg Inc. is selling for $500,000 after it was once valued at $160 million…clearly someone is overpaying at $500,000.

Facebook is highlighting weddings with a new feature…divorce profiles.

Disney has released a trailer for its new Lone Ranger movie starring Johnny Depp…find out how the masked Texas lawman will keep his mask on while dealing with scissor hands.

Fossilized feces suggest a previously unknown culture existed on the West Coast some 13,000 years ago…they had Taco Bell then?

Researchers claim to have found a rare genetic mutation in Iceland that appears to protect against Alzheimer’s disease…and we call it isolation.

Physicists are breaking down the concept of a “God particle”…the only time they ever use the word God.

Katie Holmes has a new apartment in New York City…she’s come a long way from Dawson’s Creek and Tom’s Crazy Town.

The service sector in June grew at the slowest pace in two years…so they’re selling fewer hand jobs.

Thousands may lose Internet access Monday if your PC is infected with a particular kind of malware…ironically Monday will be the most productive day at work.

The CDC reports people are ingesting grill brush wires…adds flavor.

Rihanna is suing her former accountants after costing her tens of millions of dollars…she should’ve known they were trouble when they did her books on an abacus.

A report on an Air France crash urges better pilot training…and less wine.

Google is eliminating iGoogle and Google Video…what?