New Mexico’s governor has declined to pardon to Billy the Kid…government works really slow in the south.
Arkansas is assessing the damage after a tornado…which requires virtually every abacus in the state.
Nearly 60 cops and FBI agents are trying to convince a Texas bank robber to release two hostages…back in the day it only took one ranger with a black mask.
The Standard & Poor’s 500 Index rose 13% in 2010…pay no attention to the man behind the curtain…Ben Bernanke et al.
Discovery has postponed a Michael Jackson autopsy TV show…until fans can get their Valium scripts filled.
Researchers find one third of 9-year-olds are obese or overweight…time to reinforce the playground.
Researchers say people with a family history of alcoholism may be fueling the obesity epidemic…the only thing people with a family history of alcoholism are fueling are sales at liquor stores, attorneys’ fees, and the bottom lines at auto body repair garages.
Beginning in 2012, the government will require food labels on 40 of the most common cuts of raw beef and poultry…except for the most common…women.
John and Elaine Irwin Mellencamp are divorcing after 18 years of marriage…so that’s how the story of Jack and Diane ends.